Photo by Annie Spratt from Unsplash
Boys don’t cry. Men are strong and stoic. On the other hand, people with disabilities need help to live full lives and are seen as inspirational when they do.
These two ideas from American society conflict internally for me as a disabled man. It’s almost like
I can’t “man up” because of assumptions based on my physical appearance. Strangers want to help me.
It doesn’t sound that bad, but it takes away my independence. That can lead to feeling less than.
“Evering Goffman describes the prejudice here as the fundamental nature of stigma: the stigmatized person is regarded as ‘somehow less than human.’ (Longmore, 135)
Physicality in male stereotypes
It stems from gender roles in society. Men are taller, stronger, and dominant. Honestly, I don’t fit any qualifications to “be a man.”
I try by working out, but I won’t get taller or change my personality anymore; I’m not an Alpha male.
And that’s not because of my disability. My disability forces assumptions that make it hard to be a male stereotype. I still idealized it as a child.
I watched my brother learn gymnastics and become very strong. While I don’t, he fits all the criteria.
He thrives from gender roles in society. I’ve learned that people don’t hold me to the same standard of masculinity because they see the disability first.
The stereotypical “disabled guy”
The “disabled guy” has to overcome his disability is an inspiration before he becomes a man.
To be a man, I have to be stronger and more assertive or to be disabled, I have to be less independent and so subordinate others speak for me when I’m in the room.
These learned societal traits can be seen in the female gender roles as well.
These things are just stereotypes but are reinforced heavily and sometimes complicate being a disabled man. These male stereotypes have a lasting impact on people regardless of gender roles. They can lead to toxic masculinity stereotypes.
Discussing gender stereotypes in education classes is important no matter gender or other factors. Stereotypes are systemic problems.
Source
Longmore, P. K. (2003). Screening stereotypes:images of disabled people in television and motion pictures. In Why I burned my book and other essays on disability (pp. 131-146). Temple University PresM ste