I am not Jewish. Therefore, I cannot pretend to know how antisemitic rhetoric and and violence feel.I am not part of that community that has a long history of discrimination and systemic barriers different from those of disability rights or racism that affect me more personally.
Popular media has shown non Jews for decades that Hanukkah and Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be the most important celebrations for Jewish Americans.
Photo by Samantha Grades from Unsplash
This Americanization of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs has caused there to be a drop off of Jewish children continuing their education in Jewish traditions and faith after the age of thirteen.
Mitzvah Misconceptions
Many bar mitzvahs in pop culture are viewed through the lens of a Christian protagonist. For example,
The Wonder Years depicts Kevin and Paul’s birthdays as only a day apart. When Paul needs his Bar Mitzvah on Kevin’s birthday because a Bar Mitzvah happens on the Saturday after turning thirteen, they argue over whose party is more important.
Kevin disregards Jewish traditions and is instead focused on money and extravagance. In reality, this sets up 7th graders with unrealistic expectations.
“Mitzvah Drop-Off”
While working at Youth Education at Temple Beth Shalom, Amy Bernson noticed a “sharp drop-off” of students after they had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
“I had parents tell me that their parents made them stay until their Bar Mitzvah, and they still remained Jewish…
Other parents would leave messages on my voicemail explaining that religious school had been the priority for years.
Still, now that their daughter has become a Bat Mitzvah, it was time for non-religious activities—dance or cheerleading—to take priority so Sara wouldn’t resent being Jewish. (Bernson 1-2)
Psychology
The adolescent brain goes through a growth spurt of connections, making teens distantly different from children. For all the strength and size gained, there are conflicting opportunities for recklessness in adolescence.
“Adolescence is strongly associated with an increase in risk-taking, sensation-seeking, and reckless behavior. In most measurable ways, adolescents have developed better reasoning and decision-making skills than children” (Dahl, 3).
Origins of Tradition
Culture and religions have marked ages from thirteen through eighteen as significant in society, often featuring a celebration to mark the start to adulthood.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is one of these occasions that can be tied to adolescents’ need for social acceptance, with high expectations leading to emotional behavior patterns.
13 The Musical
13 the Musical focuses on Evan Goldman. “My name is Evan Goldman, I live at 224 West 92nd Street in the heart of Manhattan, and my life just went to hell.”
In the opening number of 13, Evan’s parents are going through a divorce. Evan is forced to have his Bar Mitzvah in Indiana, away from all his friends.
Throughout the Musical, he goes to extremes to receive validation from the popular kids in school who he invites to his ceremony, which he calls his Jewish Super Bowl.
References
Berenson, A. (n.d.). Bar Mitzvah phenomenon. History of Jewish Education: From Talmud Torah’s to Learning Communities, 1-6. http://tartak.huc.edu/guide/docs/08/Final%20CTF%20Berenson%20Amy.pdf
Dahl, R. E. (2004). Adolescent brain development a period of vulnerabilities and opportunities. Annals New York Academy of Science, 1-22. https://edisciplinas.usp.br/pluginfile.php/5740503/mod_resource/content/1/Dahl_Adolescent_brain_development.pdf